Sunday, August 26, 2007

Was thinking, you keep me sane, just like how you keep some others sane. Everyone comes to you with their problems and you take it and try to help.

But then again, who do you go to when you're about to go insane?

I donno, but it hurts real bad when you know someone's got limited access to sanity, with all the shit that people come with.

Well, that means it's time to grow up and stop whining. At least that helps!

No more whining!!=)

-js-

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Prelims' a torture. The believe you have in yourself disappears the moment you leave your seat after the paper. Sighs. Oh wells. There goes my B B C C. Think it's more of erm, E S S U. Quite retarded.

Life's been like a blob. Been slacking since I donno when. 3 more papers to go. Shall study for those 3 papers.

Blob. =)

-js-

Monday, August 13, 2007

HELLO WORLD! I'm back. All thanks to trusty friends who know what it means to be a friend! =)

Yupp, am fine already(:

Cheerios sunshine!I'm fine, really. Trust. =)

-js- I can't stop tearing. I practically cried myself to sleep last night after reading the previous messages. Felt rather breathless and was on the verge of hyperventilation. Just could not control and really, like how the pundits say, and the flood gates opened. Why on earth did I doubt? Now it's all gone.

Cried so many rivers that even Timberlake should give me an award. Teared, cried and still doing so, like a big baby.

It just goes to show it's important to me.

-js-

Sunday, August 12, 2007

"So what if you're over it? It doesn't deny the fact that it once happened!" That line, really sat me thinking. It really is my fault, for thinking too much, for not understanding you better, for not seeing that you actually do reciprocate and that you don't just keep taking.

"Why're you more concerned whether or not things will be the same instead of studying for prelims?" 'cos you're really as important, if not more important than prelims. I can't make you see it that way 'cos it just isn't you.

I guess I've hurt you too deep to even ask for anything. I'm sorry, apparently that's all I can say. It's my fault.

I promised not to make you feel sad, not be allow you to feel anything negative and whatever and look what I did. It's just dumb. I know you don't want to accept anything now and you're just being nice by accepting it. Guess that says a lot.

I'm sorry.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

I guess being nice to people ain't like putting coins into a vending machine. It doesn't mean that $1 worth of coins can be exchanged for $1 worth of happiness. It doesn't matter how much you give cos you cannot expect people to just reciprocate and give back the same amount of even more. I guess we can only see the returns as a form of added bonus. At least that makes things easier and happier. I'm starting to become incoherent. There's just so much I wanna say but it's all jumbled up, mixed and whatever. Really kinda tired of having to think of ways to make things more interesting without coming across as a piece of gum. You know the feeling when, you're feeling sick of something but yet, just don't want to give up? Yea. That's the feeling right now.

Can't believe I just did another 45 minutes wait. I just want to do it but after doing it, I go, "What the hell have I just done." Everything I do's based on impulse right now, which is quite dumb.

I think it really is time to take a chill pill. Look on the bright side, you get to save some messages! But I don't want to, that's the problem. Ever tried waiting 1 entire day for a simple morning greeting, before convincing yourself that it's not going to happen 'cos there's no reason to? Ever tried sending morning greetings just so that get to message someone? That's pathetic from my point of view. But guess who's doing it? Wow.

Starting to use music as a way of getting away from all the shit. Music seems to be the only thing I can use to express myself and to vent my anger. But everytime I play the piece 'Reflections' with all that sixtet notes, I feel fine again. So I'll happily return to my room and the feeling sinks in again. Music's the only salvation.

It's not your fault, I suppose. I guess it's just part of learning and realizing that there's more to it that you expected. Maybe like what some people said, there's always a first time and usually first times fail.

I'd rather some people not be so nice or sweet, just so I don't do comparisions. 'cos when that happens, people'll start to be seen as inconsistant with their actions which really is, I must say, rather vexing and irritating. Not your fault. It's mine, for being overly possessive and irritating and being an ass.

-js-

Friday, August 03, 2007

My brain is exploding. Period.

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(: (: (: (: (: =)

-js-