Tuesday, June 28, 2005

argh.....very tired....exhausted....bleargh....juz finished playing on my organ...took e hell outta me...save me someone!im so darn tired now.....argh...can juz go slp...still muz do e darn chem...argh...still got A math and E math.....and not forgetting English compo.....sai la.....kaoz..so many.....argh......think i go borrow compre le la....too tired le.....co was like o.O today.....lol....enuf said...period......


din u it was u...i saw someone fall and den heard e person cry..and i went..."cool....someone fell..pain sia..." i guess e pain was felt differently....reminds me of my lit unseen poetry test for mid yrs...hmm.....u had physical pain..i had emotional pain...wow..sounds so caring and aww...people's minds must be going..."say until like dat...siao....so fake.."wadever....maybe it is a little melodrama....hmm.....but seriously....i kindda feel e pain too...hmm...i wonder...

food for thought ppl: by trying to escape from e everloving God, u are trying to push urself to more pain and hell...juz like how u love a person...but she juz doesnt seem to want to bother about u and love u back juz as much...i kills u...and God feels e same way when u decide to turn ur back against His mighty love...so never escape from His love...

unless of cuz u say chey...mai siao la...so drama meh??and brush it off with LOL....if not..do sit down and think about it...

i guess pearl's right....God's feeling more pain den i did and still feeling....His pain comes from me not loving Him juz as much....and my pain...from....u know......no elaboration needed...so yeah...guess i kindda noe o.0000000000ooooooooooooooooooo1% of wad God's feeling...=)

I lurve You Father, juz e same as I have always did....
same goes for u....

Monday, June 27, 2005

monday blues..lol...manage to survive with only chinese done for homework...juz finished 1 of 2 compres...lol.....did chem with et and aaron at jec today...not bad...did quite a lot....co tmr..whoots!u've got to lurve e people in it i tell'ya.....trust me!lol...co all e way manz!!hahaa....anyway...im slpy le....lol....nightz ppl......



thanks for e tag...=)

Sunday, June 26, 2005

"what we know of other people is only our memory of the moments during which we knew them. and they have changed since then...at every meeting we are meeting a stranger"


got this from Daniel's blog...=) true..isnt it?

Saturday, June 25, 2005

IM OVER DAH MOON!!!!!lol.....all thanks to a simple msg of take care...WOOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOO!!!!im over e moon......hahaaa.....
anyway......God answered all my prayers...=) almost all...=)

Friday, June 24, 2005

my love life is a flop
my family is in shackles...on e verge of breaking apart
my dad wants to give up everything including life
my mum treats my dad as though he's invisible
my brother aint around to help
im on e verge of breaking down
i've lost my faith, unfortunatly at this moment of time
im trying to find my love for God all over again, at least im finding it...thank God
my life is a disaster
my family is broken
girl of my dreams treats me as thrash and doesnt even bother and sees me as invisible
everyone doesnt care, doesnt bother.....

let me go....let me throw myself into ur arms Father...in ur arms i find strength and comfort...

Thursday, June 23, 2005

爱一个人是没有理由的。 当你爱一个人时， 那个人不一定会爱你。但是即使她不爱你，你还是会爱着她。你越是爱她， 她越是不会爱你。 但是就是因为这样，你越爱她。你越爱她，她越是恨你，讨厌你。当你不再爱她时，她可能反过来爱你。但那时的你已不再爱她了。那个时候她又会说当时对她的感情不是真挚的。到头来，你有可能成为她最恨的人。。。感情。。。是什么？ got back from work liao..tmr is last day....argh....morning shift....hahaa...den after that can go for k-boxing liao...lol...so sian....school gonna start soon...bleargh..>.< hmm...this face has lots of stories behind it..=) sad ones and funny ones and even cute ones...hahaha...late nights of teasing and luffing and stoning and thinking of wad to say..hahaa...all past stories...delivered lunch to mum today...lol...getting my pay tmr!!!yays..wait...am i?LOL...maybe will only get it on sat...heck..so long as i do get it...

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

wah...juz got back from dover....lol....was working as a bookseller....darn shagged now....bleargh...keep running here and there to check prices...lol.....

why u haven reply my msg?argh

tomorrow still need to go....argh....trying to sleep early....lol.....

muz reply my msg k?=)

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

really feeling very sick now...donno why....think i ate a wee bit too much..bleargh...feel like puking like nobody's business...*pukes* wah kaoz.....today co....why so fast over le???argh...sianz...but was quite enjoyable today.....LCY still doesnt noe my name....wad e hell...LOL..nvm....going to work tomorrow...sianz....muz report by4....LOL...den feel like going out with someone to do homework le.....argh....haven even started..LOL....wish me all e best...=)
a bit de scary today....had a moment of shock when i had eye contact with someone...*shivers* e look is all different...e feeling also different...hmm...food for thought....=)

Monday, June 20, 2005

let's update...yays...erm...nothing much happened today....woke up at 10.30...wth...lol....latest ever....den played dota..=) den went for breakfast....watched overtime between spurs and pistons...ALL HAIL HORRY!!!LOL....wad a 3-pointer!!!!!shot over e defender..whoots!spurs won...hahaa...3-2......all e way SPURS!! ok.....den lagged a bit before washing up and going for tuition....so headed to bishan for lessons....after tt went home...played dota again..LOL....den went on with blog-hopping.....viewed all e blogs on my links....lol.....couldnt help but thing too much when i saw a particular blog...haiz....nvm...i've decided to move on and i should not look back...

"God made us have eyes infront so that we would not look back and would pursue only what's infront.."---jurongeast

is it juz me....or is it actually what it seems to me...hmmz...food for thought..=)

Sunday, June 19, 2005

very sian...lol....seems like a routine for me to start every entry with "very sian"...hahaa....had cip last night....quite fun la actually...hahaa....slept at 2am again last night...but it was very fun and amusing....hahaa...time worth spending...hahaa.....talked about lots of stuff...so muz look on e bright side ok? =) muz really start to do homework le!!!!argh....still got lan on tuesday...hahaa....anyways....got my theory results le...82....wah kaoz...lost to mei mei and i think tingwei too.....argh!!hahahaaa.....eh gd job tingwei!!=)

Saturday, June 18, 2005

i found out tt i've forgotten her number....serious!no joke siaa.....lol....i guess tis is a sign of me getting over her....yays..... its a habit.....i've found out.....my "liking" of her has become a habit....

Friday, June 17, 2005

wah....today like a spent lots of money sia....played lan with Lan5......won 2 in a row.....lol.....den went for co.....hahaa......bobby say we not suppose to be there de.....so we heck....went back to co room...lol....e new daji teacher super hot sia.....LOL....dat's another story.....den went for dinner wif chenghan and ler and darrell and kiang....lol....super corny sia...LOL.....now waiting for rui to come online.....lol.....sian la.....very tired.....nvm.....got someone asking if im online.....LOL....haiyoh....young boy....link nia..oso mean nth right?talk and chat oso mean nth la.....think too much sia that young boy.....haiz....

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

very bad day....first spurs lost....argh.....cant believe they went down so easily...argh...where was manu??where was duncan???where was parker??wah kaoz....but actually i expected them to lose la....detriots too strong at home le...den went for tuition before meeting Liane...darn shuang sia...meet her...hahaa...got babe pei me go home...hhaahaaa....people thought we stead...lol....den now lagging away before going to sleep and lag...sian la...don even noe wad im typing.....hahaa....

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

i feel like crying all of a sudden......i donno why and i noe i should not cry....im thinking too much...im blowing it up in proportion....sylvia's right....im making it a big issue....im sorry den...im useless....no use telling me aiyah don think that way...blah blah blah..let people think im trying to use reverse pyschology to get more sympathy......for all i care.....i juz wan to cast all problems to God and cry my hearts out.....lonely nights......not like those i once had.....wonderful nights, filled with love and sweetness.....thanks though, at least i once had it....but no thanks for making me think about it again..not ur fault though....let me cry......im off to cry.....cya.... lol..was suppose to do homework with Lan5 today...nana was grounded..so left kiang ler darrell and i niaa....so we met at jec...quote from ler after seeing e stone table, "conditions do not permit us to do work..so let's go play LAN!!" lol...nearly fainted.....lol..as if after lan can do work..hahaa...so we went to play...after that went for lunch...was about to do work...until......."erm...let's go play game!!!"wah!!!!so went to play game....after gaming....."let's go jackson's house to do work..."ok....so they came....BUT!!! "quick go get e table!!get e mahjong table!!!!"wah.....nearly wanted to slap him siaa.....lol......den played mahjong.....was fun....until ler said something dat spoilt my mood.....think he din mean it....but....nvm.....e other's din noe oso....so carried on playing juz that i din say anything after that.....so they went to my room to play com.....lol.....so played till 6 before going home....hahaa.......did nothing constructive today....i think she's right....i can't do anything constructive.......hahaa.......meeting on friday again.hahaa.....i think im gonna flunk ct3...hahaa......

Monday, June 13, 2005

had 2L'03 class outing today...was a great thing that could happen...lol...captain junxiong organised is to perfection...=) played bball and soccer at e old teban gardens...lol....had lots of fond memories...played and enjoyed myself...=) one of e rare times where i could be myself...thanks guys....<3 all of ya...=D den went for lunch at jec..sat in one big circle...darn it...its so darn cool and we all enjoyed each other's company...lol...headed down to queensway for pool and lan..lol...played till it was 7...went for dinner before we parted, sadly....=)

i juz can't help but say 2L made a big impact in my life...one of e milestones i would say...=)
thanks guys...

Sunday, June 12, 2005

ok....after sylvia's unhappiness of me not blogging about Lan5 and xyz, i shall be a good boy and follow her instructions and rightly do so...lol...

sec1: started off with 2 guys...we worked hard...well...maybe...lol......den some people were left behind while others flew at great speeds...some had to leave...we remained and fell together...our co camp's performence was a disaster...we were totally ashamed of ourselves...seniors din really scold us..but instead encouraged us....we felt sad..no doubt...but..as a group we held on and lived through it all...thank u seniors...we entered orchestra main practise in june...we were stunned.....not by e size but by e level of music...we were lost...lol....chuan qi will be a legend...legend founded by seniors....

sec2: finally seniors..lol...we couldn't even help ourselves..much less juniors....went to zhong hu...together with shu zhen....was thrown into new territory again....lol...had to struggle....6 songs in 1 mth...not very good....but..Zhi Yin II was a success nevertheless.....was our first major performence....turned out that it would be the last major performence with seniors...den came SYF...was lucky to be part of e backstage crew...cyrena, kah hoe, randal, pearleen, sooyan, fungmin and many more...sorry la..can't remember...LOL.....we all had a great time working hard together..=) loved it....got lots of scoldings...din mind...cuz we knew we were doing something great for CO...whoots...hahaa...did silly catwalks with randal when we were at backstage during syf..hahaa...madness...was as estatic as e rest were...we made a promise to be as good....as wonderful....became a zhiwei...recre-logi'03....that's wad we were called...hahaa..."chairs are our business" became our motto.....we planned lots of sitting arrangements...wonderfully i guess...hahaa...enjoyed myself in co during this time...

sec3: had cultural night concert....did wad we had to do....perform...hahaa....wonder why..but i can't seem to remember much of sec3 days...hmm....lost my love for CO..din even noe why i came for co....xiumin asked me why i was absent...i said i din noe why i even bother to come...lost my directions in co...told me to find e reason for going for co soon....i promised......xyz was as crap as we could be..hhaa....remember it was during this time that i started to get close to sylvia...lol...happy notx girl??LOL.....shared lots of problems....had my jies from tanbo...hhaaa...liane, tongx, qian, zhenling and evelyn.....lol.....would always go mad when im with them..hahaa....started to play soccer with sec3 guys on saturday mornings...lol....SSC.....soccer training..that's wad we would call it...weikiang, lerxian, ignatius, darrell and me...we would play and play and play...den during e hols, we decided to play lan frequently...hahaa....and guess wad? Lan5 was born...hahaa...played so much lan and soccer together we started to look like gays..hahaa....

sec4: this is it..our year...after all the hard work and rumblings and wad have u nots, we failed....but its ok...cuz i noe juniors will do well and get it back for us...=) played soccer at e new school for e first time with Lan5....was at e canteen lagging after a match...den saw e sec3s...ler shouted..."sec3 vs sec4!!" jiajun responded..."on!!"hahaa....following that was great fun...hahaa...played many many many matches with juniors...love them to bits....won most of e games...hahaaa.....though we lost a couple too.....lol...Lan5 grew stronger..showed our attitude together..hahaa.....camp was madness.....cuz we were gays as usual...hahaa....uno became our game!!haha....it was during this final year that i started to really love CO all over again...i fell in love with this place all over again.......starting to regret not loving it earlier...i finally found reasons for coming for CO....plain simple....i juz cant stop falling in love with this big family....=)
thanks xiumin...i've found it...=) met lots of new people and got to know them better..got to know myself better too.....understood that things will not always be fair to u....it juz so happen to be that i cant have it....have to learn to take and go...still learning..though i donno when i will....*stop it....going out of point again!!!argh...* eh sylvia..slap me when i go out of point hor..hahaa....grew closer to xyz'05....sec4s will always be one big group...=)

Lan5, xyz sec4s, recre-logi'03, SYF'03 backstage crew, CO.....i love u all...Praise God and may God bless u...=)

Saturday, June 11, 2005

its juz simply cuz i can't forget her...im starting to believe i really really like her...shun qi zi ran?i don't know...but yet...i want to know...tell me soon...
thanks jie...*hugx* some things are best left untouched and unexplored...cuz once u explore and come to know of it, u never want to leave it even though it can really hurt u and make u all down and wad have u not...really.....some things are best left un-noticed, unaware of...never in anyone's life would we want to get ourselves bothered with some things that would potentially kill us all....but it seems to me....we all juz can't help but luv to get ourselves hurt and sad...i donno if its cuz we are a bunch of silly people...why did i get myself into such trouble??argh...sometimes i juz hate myself.....bleargh....save me la....argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!*shakes head*

baby can i hold u?

Friday, June 10, 2005

so super uber darn sian today la.....bleargh....went for co at 12..hahaa.....very bad choice....turn out no combine practice...sianz...so lagged till it was dazu....den had a short talk with mr lum...hahaa....den after that stayed for sectionals....helped juniors with e zhifa...hahaa.....den went to jec...din noe why...but everytime i walk home from e station....i would always feel this small little tinge in my heart.....donno why....maybe its cuz...maybe....i think it is...all tt remains is a scare to remind me of wad i had done wrong...so wrong i can nv change it to make it better....and its my fault that it had to happen....so here i am typing this again...=)

Thursday, June 09, 2005

got back from camp...gladly....in one piece....hahaa....brief of wad happened...
day1: had briefing followed by station games..was guai laning with Lan5.....hahaax...darn stupid sia..lol....really enjoy their company....tried to do self-destruct by pouring water over myself though i won e game...hahaa....den played dodgeball....hahaa....so we practically thrashed others....hahaa...den we went to CO room to play uno whilst waiting for others to come back...den after dat is wad ah....hmm.....hahaa.....cant rmb...lol.....only noe we had campfire....so we called for pizza for dinner lor.....den played soccer at e mean time...lol...den campfire was erm...honestly a little boring lor....but luckily...we had Qiling!!!!whoots!!!so when i heard a rather high song i screamed his name and we started to dance together.....hahaa....so both of us got really high....den before e end of campfire we had like 30 mins of disco....no one danced....but heck....qiling and i did so...den we had Tuo Diao!!!hahaa.....so we danced lor...den i got super uber hyper high....hahaa....so i let myself loose and juz danced away all my sorrows....serious...all that dancing made me happier....din really had a thought about her....qi ji sia....den zhong ru joined in...hahaa...we danced 3 times lor!!!hahaa....chao high....i almost really tuo diao...PA was like urging us to continue to dance..hahaa.....thanks to PA that we have campfire...thanks ah??but sadly it had to end...so we had mid night trial....den hor!!donno why suddenly see her leh!!!wah piangz....mood from super high drop to super low...not cuz i don like e sight of her...its cuz i don wan myself to see her la....wah piangz..will have lots of emotions and stuff like that den will go to depression.....arghx....sianz....next....bathed and lights out....

day2:soccer at 6am....hahaa....den went for breakfast.....den played uno...lol....den played soccer....lol.....had a little problem wif SCs.....hahaa......den played more uno....hahaaa.....by this time i was stinking....hahaa...played a little more soccer before going to bathe....ahahaaa..watched video den listen to zhang lao shi talk.....den went home.....found out money was stolen....kaox......din noe CO ppl so dishonest de....haiz.....very disappointed....my fault for not taking care of my stuff too la...nvm...all fated.....den went canteen to have a chit chat session wif xyz sec4s....haaha...den when about to go that time..she appeared again!!wah.....my world was like about to collapse sia....too much for me to take....den decided to be a brave and strong boy boy and try not to think about anything and play strong....quite a success i think...nvm...den went home wif them and here i am typing tis entry.....lol....
going co tmr.....my zhong hu juniors cmi....muz go teach...hahaax....



*i cant help but want to noe who that person is...or am i juz thinking too much..*

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

wah laoz...today e wuti is like....bleargh....disgusting sia...one word......xun4!haizz.....CO ah CO....better buck up sia.....

Monday, June 06, 2005

had lessons today.....chem prac...after that went for lunch at lot1...den went to bishan for lessons...tmr still got math...sianz.....den still got co....yays....hahahaaa.....anyways.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEICHEN!!hahaa..though a little late la...hahaa....den wrote some stuff on behalf of lan5....hahaa...some awkward incidents.....at least for me la...*skips*den juz finished dota with darrell..wah lao....i damn noob sia....lvl 15 soul keeper still die....kaoz....donno wad to say....den nth much lor today....got a little flu...haiz...=)


wo ai ni...ai ni?ai na yi dian?wo ye bu zhi dao...=)

Friday, June 03, 2005

cool....darrell juz coached me in my first bnet dota game...not bad.....quite ok....den played 1 game by myself..not bad sia...but e team got 2 ppl left.....so i left too....hahaa....oh ya...someone tell me when is syf opening....thanks ya....need to know....and i think its time to practise.....im having a pimple outbreak...lol....someone help me....hahaa....

Thursday, June 02, 2005

wah piangz...had soccer wif lan5 juz now...lol....tiring sia...haha...won a group of chinese and a group of malay+indian under 14s...qiang sia e under 14s...hahaa....we were stunned by e first encounter wif them...we were practically walking..hahaa....so they scored 2 goals...so next team lor...haha.....but before that....we were already playing 5 on 5 with e chinese....not bad sia...ignatius' glancing header!!hahaa....super nice...den lerxian intercepted a throw from e keeper and one touch volley-ed e ball....hahaa......with velocity of e speed of superman flying...hahaa....but sad nv goal...den from there on his marker scared of him liao.....even say.."i hen pa zhe ge...."hahaa.....den we won e game 2-1..den came e under14s...last game dat time...kiang did a stunning volley....ball was in e air....one touch volley...hahaa.....hit e post!!!!argh!!e uncle was like, wad a great shot!where u learn to play like dat?kiang said..erm...natural....hahaa....we were all luffing.....but in e end won 2-0 still la....hahaa.....den we all agreed...they will win e competition....hahaa......challenged quite a few high balls...ler said i had a total of 15 high boots..hahaa....ler's marker challenged me to high ball....den his team mates call him to header....but i did a high boot clearence...den got e ball away...he scared and said...wah hengx ah nv challenge...i jump equals to him high boot lor!!!!hahaa......not my fault wad.....haha...so...it was like quite a good game la...tried to be physical...think its working....must be more aggressive....=) tmr playing again...hahahaa....muz do more training for e farewell match..muz come watch us hor!!hahaa.....




i wish u wld be there...at least jux to watch e sec4s play their last match...please?

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

so darn dead tired...haaaizzz.....been doing aimless scrolling...keep going back to e same url juz to see if dere's an update...haaizz.....wan to move on also like....sometimes i juz hate myself for not saying my prayers to move on....argh....but...we'll let God show me wad's installed...so darn tired..dat's mentally.....
physically.....drained.....back to back matches....tired sia...juz came back from soccer with church peeps....lol...won 2 lost 1....hahaa.....overload of defence sia...4 on 5....hahaaa....played anchor...den played defender....den played forward....lol.....scored one nia...sianz.....think it was own goal la...but.....i'll claim it....hahaaa....played soccer yesterday...with co juniors...hahaa...dat was overload attack...hahaa.....need to brush up on my attack...lol..defence is like...improving liao..though still quite bad...but...at least i improved...hahaaa...my attack is like...bleargh.....=) maybe got soccer tmr....hahaaa...but don think will have la...very tired also...will become 3 matches in 3 days....hahaa.....den if friday after co play...will become 4 in 4...KAOZ!!my legs will break sia!!!my legs darn numb and tired now...a bit of pain when walk....haiz....no one to comfort me....sadded....=p