Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Well, I didn't get the cramps I was initially expecting. Haha. Didn't go for LAN today, which was cancelled in the end. Long story. Sighs. Sometimes I really wonder if I'm magnanimous and all that what-have-you-nots. Nevermind.
Had lunch with Liane today. Oh my gosh. She changed so much! She looks absolutely stunning. Really! Whoots. Haha. Had a very long chat with her. Miss her so much.
Played soccer with 4I people after lunch near the mosque at Jurong. Haha. Scored 1 and had a hand in 3 goals. Not bad, given it's me that your talking about! Haha.
I'm bored. Sighs.
Was bathing just now. "Say It Isn't So" kept running through my head. Sighs. It holds so much meaning and it's just so very apt for me. Sighs. My feelings are all said that song. I wonder. Well, Grad Night ended. I must say that it's a once in a lifetime experience for me. Got to know my friends better, got to know more friends. But more importantly, I mended broken bonds. Only the two girls will know what I mean.
Jin Hui was at our table. Super corny guy, very funny and very friendly. We laughed whenever he spewed vulgarities. Haha. Nice dressing too!
I'm so tired now. I shall blog more about Grad Night tomorrow. And there's LAN tomorrow! Haha.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Just got home from work. I'm so darn tired. Not because of work being too heavy, but because it was too laggy. I got really bored from 3pm to 5pm. Hardly anybody came. Nearly died. Oh my gosh. Save me people.
Grad Night is coming soon! Whoots! Haha.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haa

Alo, Salut, sunt eu, un haiduc,
Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt eu Picasso, Ti-am dat beep,
si sunt voinic, Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

Te sun, sa-ti spun, ce simt acum,
Alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu, fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso, Ti-am dat beep,
si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haa

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai. Went for grad night shopping with my brother last night. I must say that I'm very pleased with my purchases. Haha. Get ready for a shock of your life when you see what I bought. Hmm. Apparently my brother said that it's my Christmas present. Wow. How nice of him. Whoots. I love the colour of my shirt. Haha. It's so me. Weee..

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Well guys, I just got back from my hair-do. Haha. Coloured my hair and did a little cut. Haha. Brought Chia Hoe along. Hmm. I must say that Steven(the hairstylist) is really good! Haha. Hmm. Going to bring Desmond there tomorrow. Whoots. I can't wait to see the world with my new hair. Wee.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Well, its the second day into the holidays. Hmm. So far so good I guess. Packed my room today! Whoots! Haha. Found out that I actually have tons of books to give away. My brother suggested that I sell them all. Haha. So if you need any books or notes, feel free to message me or call me eh? =)
Life has been pretty good these days. Especially after thinking through things and hearing from different people. Thanks guys, for helping me and standing by me. Friends are always the most important people in your life, besides your family and God of course. Haha.
Anyway val, don't be sad anymore alright?=) looking forward to the 19th. Haha. Cya soon alrighty? Did a test today. =)

You have a deep desire to be kind and fair to others. You are preoccupied with finding kindness in the world around you, far more than you may realise on a conscious level. This makes you unusually empathetic and very sensitive to other people's feelings.
Your kind nature makes you an optimist at heart and allows you to see the best in the people around you. Because you're not judgmental, others seek you out when they need a friend.
Your psyche is very rich; the more you learn about it, the more you will understand who you really are.

Monday, November 21, 2005

I cannot believe the way treated it. Calling me when you are with your girlfriends and talking to them at the same time? What on earth were you thinking about? A game to you eh? I expected more maturity from you regarding this issue. The way you treated it tells me very clearly that you are not at the very least interested in salvaging the situation. You don't even want to consider things from my angle. Fine, I am selfish. But at the very least I don't treat this like some game right? One moment you are talking to me in this serious voice and little girl way and the next moment you are laughing away with your girlfriends with me on the phone? What is this? And your girlfriends said stuff that was so hearting. Do you have any idea how I felt when I heard your friend say that?
Tell me. Were you at the very beginning playing around? Honestly. If you were, congratulations. I was played. Period.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Had a long chat with Evon online last night. Or should I say, early this morning. She did me a great favour by breaking down my situation. Really needed that from her. She practically analyzed the entire thing and gave me advices on what I should really do. I must say she infers quite a bit too! Haha. Lit student in action I suppose? Was she trying to ignore me and send me a message trying to say, "get the hell out of my life?" Or was it pure coincidence that she couldn't reply? Only she knows. All I can do is hope and pray, 'cause Heaven knows. I admit my life is in shackles now. In a total mess I should say. Silly thoughts and inferences flooding my mind, bombarding my every brain cell, making me go gaga over a simple reply. Why have I become so weak? I shouldn't be like that. My life is full of excitement! I'm suppose to be happy that O's are over! Oh my goodness, what is becoming of me?
I'm not pushing for a reply. Neither am I forcing a reply. All I'm asking for is that to get this thing settled as soon as possible. I want to know if its going to happen again or that it will never be. Get it over soon. It's as hard for me as it's hard for you alright? I hate the way you are treating me. Stop playing hard to catch. I'm sorry if I'm accusing you of stuff. Kill me. Will you just freaking reply? Gosh. I can't stand the fact that I'm waiting for something which have no idea about. Just tell me what's going on in your mind for goodness sake.

-edit- you finally replied.

Friday, November 18, 2005

A quick one before I leave the house to meet my friends for a movie. Had a piece of Shapes just now. Somehow, the taste seemed that little different. I don't know why, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't something like how it tasted before. Somehow, it tasted a little sour, a little bitter. Not that it has expired. But, I guess it has something to do with the fact that things aren't the way they used to be. I'm sad that things are like that now. I'm just waiting for a reply that didn't come, will not come, never will come. Convince me that it will come. I'm sure it never will.. I miss you so. I miss the times we had. Will you come back? I want to celebrate my every acheivements with you. Will you bother to return?

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Hmm, well, Add math went rather well for me. Except for the fact that I actually thought of the method to do the vector question. Argh. Feel so angry. Not because of the fact that I couldn't do it. But it's because I actually KNOW how to do it. Thought of it at the last minute. Wrote some workings before being asked to stop writting. Nevermind. It's over and I can't do anything about it anymore.
Physics. Ah yes. Physics. Who can ever forget this wonderful subject that actually strikes fear into the hearts of well erm, me? Haha. I can finally do questions regarding Fleming's Left Hand Rule and Right Hand Rule! Whoots! It's a great acheivement for me alright? So stop sniggering. Haha. I'm not really looking forward to the paper tomorrow. Because I know people like AARON and erm AARON and erm AARON will be saying it's easy. Haha. Come on, we all have to agree. That guy's a smart ass. Grr. Haha. Can you imagine sitting beside him during physics lessons and also during chemistry lessons? Sighs. It makes you seem as if your brain malfunctions. Haha. But try sitting beside him during Chinese lessons and you will hear him say silly things. Haha. Just got to love that guy. Wonderful friend. Great to know you Aaron. =)
Well, I'm off to start on my physics. I really have to start soon or I won't be able to sleep tonight. Haha. So till next time, tata!(",)

Monday, November 14, 2005

It was supposed to be a wonderful day today. It was supposed to be a day of happiness and feeling loved and blessed. But it was not to be. In fact, it never occurred to me that today would be a sad day. 30 days flew past just like that. Fate can be just so cruel. How enticing. My handphone rang in the morning because of the alarm I set. It read, "1 mth!" I actually forgot about today. The alarm reminded me of all the happy memories I once experienced and also, the very night. 1 month. Aint that fast? Not a good day today. How I wish I never really met you before. But yet, in that corner of my heart, how I wish I met you earlier. And to set the records straight, I don't regret knowing you. I only regretting letting it end without putting up a fight.
I will fight for it for I'm not defeated.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

I'm officially in love with Add Math. Haha. Apparently, I can do Add Math better than E Math. How's that? Haha. Not very pleasing. Sighs
Quote from Wendy Jacobs, " Take chances, enjoy life." "Fight for things."
Sighs. I don't know. Tell me. Please. Help.

Friday, November 11, 2005

I wonder, should I regret knowing you? Or should I be glad that I know you? I really don't know. I happy to just know you, knowing someone as sweet and nice and caring as you. Almost like the powerpuff girls, sugar spice and everything nice. Sheesh. Sometimes I wonder, why on earth do I know you? Why is it that I have to meet you? Why is it that I have to go through it all over again. First it was 6 months, then now its 2 years. Goodness, I'm no saint. I cannot possibly wait for so long without any grumbles. Call me an egoistic asshole for all I care. I simply cannot wait and not know if things are going to turn out the way I want it to. Capricorn at work? Maybe, given that Capricorns are known to want things to be their way and that they are idealistic people.
What pains me the most is that how you once promised not to leave me no matter what. Or how you promised me that you will cling onto me no matter what. You promised me the moon and the stars, everything and anything. Your sweetness was enough to make me diabetic. How nice. How I went to sleep everynight, knowing that you are around for me, that you will be there for me no matter what. That you'll stand by me, supporting me, encouraging me. I went to bed everynight with a smile on my face. I wasn't smiling because of the fact that you said something sweet. But it was because of the fact that I felt so very blessed that you were there for me. Oh goodness, how we both said that we were blessed to have each other. Or that having you/me around was more than enough. Such sweetness can only be found in memories, lost in the wilderness, engulfed by fact that I need to wait because of you feeling overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed. Yes, how can I forget that reason. If so, then why promise what you cannot achieve? Why promise when you are not even sure if you can stand by it? Why? I cannot comprehend. Make me understand. You tell me of your hectic schedule. Do I not have one? Do I not have a busy life too? Am I one who roam the streets 24/7? Am I? Then tell me is it fair to say because of a hectic schedule you feel overwhelmed? No doubt the O's are putting pressure on you. But is it not doing the same for me? I'm no smarter than you. So why are you telling me that you feel pressured by the O's and that you are overwhelmed?
But, I cannot blame you. Nor can I fault you for something that is not of your fault. I admit that it was a matter of too much too soon, same reason to why celebrities rise and fall so quickly. Maybe we should have kept it a little cooler till the O's end. So with that, I admit I was wrong. It's my fault for pushing it a little too fast. I'm sorry.
Your very first gift for me. Shapes. I loved them. Not because it tasted nice, in fact it was salty. But because it was from you. I told myself when I received it, "I'm so very blessed to have such a sweet and wonderful girl by my side." I did not mind the fact that we could only see each other once a week. Nor did I mind that we could only talk on the phone when your mum was out. I did not mind at all. Reason being very simple. It's you.
I was so very happy, over the moon when you said those 3 words on that morning, 0716 hrs. I smiled and was feeling hyper the entire day. Your shyness was so loveable. Till now, I cannot forget the way you said it, the tone you used, your sudden laughings when talking. All these, and many other sweet moments, lost in memory.
Your every message, made me feel so very loved. I could not stand the fact that you took hours to reply at times. But the moment I received it, all the anger disappered. I could not concentrate when I did not receive your messages, much as I forced myself to.
I placed your picture as my screen saver, allowing me to see you whenever I felt lonely or sad. I did not want to disturb you or land you into trouble by calling you. All I could do was to just look at your picture and smile to myself like some old man struck by senile dementia. But it was enough. I did not mind. I did not want to hear your sorries. I did not believe it was needed. Maybe I've got to thank Fungmin for this, " I don't want, and I don't like sorries. Cause they don't hold any meanings." I'll remember that. In fact, I'm starting to feel the say way too! Haha.
How I cried when I was on the phone with you for the very last time. How I was filled with sadness. How I cried when I put down the phone. It signalled the end. I could not bear to just let it end like that. Neither could you, right? Maybe you couldn't wait to end it. I don't blame you. Its your choice, not that I can control. But, we make things happen, not wait for things to happen.
Life has been pretty alright these past 2 days. Not too bad, if I have to say so myself. God's plan involves me going through all these. He wants to let me know that there is more to life than that one good girl in life. I still have my friends, and my Faith, though I'm ashamed to say I have so little Faith. God bless that I'm still alive and kicking, unlike before, letting myself slumping into mild depression over some problems.
It's never a girl's fault when a relationship goes wrong. It's the guy's. I wonder if it's going to hold. As I tried to hold on to this relationship, you just seem to want to turn your back and walk away. Maybe you didn't mean it, but it just occurred to me that you wanted so badly to just turn your back to get some personal space and breathing space. I asked myself repeatedly, did I not give you enough room or breathing space? Then, it dawned upon me that I did, it was just the wrong timing and that there was too much going on around us.
Call me selfish, call me a jerk. But I just cannot allow myself to let it end just like that. I will fight for it, for things happen only when we fight for it. I will fight, and I will push for it.
Yes, no doubt people will ask, "Do you think she'll be happy? Who are you in the first place? Don't you know that you will be causing her more unhappiness? Don't you think you are very selfish?" Then let me ask you, is it selfish to fight for what you want? If I'm selfish to fight for it, then is she not equally selfish for telling me she cannot do so because of her own reasons? To each his own, that's what I learnt from her.
I'm not trying to say that I'm correct and that she's wrong, worthy of being condemned. I never intended to hurt her because I cannot bear to do so. Who in the right mind will do so to the person he so dearly loves? Tell me about young people not knowing what love is. Then tell me, do YOU know what love is? Are you sure you know what it is all about?
I don't know what I should do right now. I cannot let it go, or maybe its just a matter of time. But I don't think it will die off so soon. Not at least till O's are over.
As the sun sets, the moon prepares to rise. What goes up, may not really come down. It will just rise and rise and rise, till we can see it no more. Like fireworks in the sky, so beautiful and breathtaking, but so shortlived, so dearly missed by some. Well, I just want to thank Chun Wee again. He actually completed my song in such a short time! Oh my gosh. That's so nice of him! So here it is. (encoding unicode)

让我爱你

(Baby I love you)
手机简讯传来的声音 我都渴望那是你
因为我已经不能 没有你的踪影
你传给我的一切简讯 我都还留住你
你爱我 你也明白 我好爱你

(chorus)
为什么现在你要齐权 这场爱的游戏
在我陷了那么深 你才说你要休息
说你毫无准备 说你不懂真心
说你要我再从新等你
你可不可以别走 停留在我的怀里
因为我想我的生活已不能没你
爱情不用准备 爱你就真心
爱你 可不可以 让我爱你

那个夜晚我打电话给你 你说需要分离
可是你不明白 其实我流泪流涕
挂了电话等于分离 舍不得挂掉你
因为我还要 继续爱下去

(chorus)
为什么现在你要齐权 这场爱的游戏
在我陷了那么深 你才说你要休息
说你毫无准备 说你不懂真心
说你要我再从新等你
你可不可以别走 停留在我的怀里
因为我想我的生活已不能没你
爱情不用准备 爱你就真心
爱你 可不可以 让我爱你
(我只想让你知道 我爱的就是你)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Well, I've decided to take the two years and wait for what I think is worth the wait. It may seem long but as like what Chun Wee said, "How long have you been in rv already?" It suddenly dawned upon me that, 2 years isn't exactly a very long time. Come to think of it, I've already experienced 8 "2 years" altogether. Hmm.
Really got to thank a couple of people here.
Chun Wee - Thanks man. Thanks for your advice and your help today. Really thankful. All the best man
E.T - Yo, did some talking to you yesterday. Got to thank you too! Haha. Thanks for advising me and stuff.
Yup, that's about all. I'm going to take the two years and just wait and see. =)

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Is it all over? I don't know. Help.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Well, as you all can see, I managed to survive the first day of the O level exams. Hmm. All I can say is that I'm not really pleased with the way I did my E Math paper1. Made some careless mistakes. I have a feeling that A1 for E Math will not happen. Sighs. Its all over anyway. Now for SS. ARGH! Yup, that sums up all that I have to say for SS. Good thing Venice came out(not that I did it). If not, someone will have to cry. LOL.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.6
Mind:	5.1
Body:	7.8
Spirit:	6.7
Friends/Family:	6.3
Love:	7.7
Finance:	4.8
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

That's my life for you. =)

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Oh my gosh! Photobucket Bandwidth exceeded! ARGH! Now my blog looks hedious. Haha. Bear with it people. It will, erm, hopefully, be up soon. Haha. Till then, so long.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Well, let's see. I can safely say that I did not really do my best for the HCL paper. Sighs. But I guess what's over is indeed over. All I can do now is just to work hard for the other papers and make sure that I do my very best, especially for my Combined Humanities and Lit. Those 2 papers are my only hopes for an A1. All the best!=)