Saturday, April 30, 2005

it aint fate..its faith...its faith dat brought me to You, Father...for that, im juz glad...not that i would be able to receive all e great things that You would be able to bring to my life..but that im glad im able to be with You...thank you...and to all those who kept praying for me, i thank u all...i promise...i wont stray...for He is too loving and caring and wad have u not for me to leave and stray...

Friday, April 29, 2005

wah piangz.....no a1, no a2, no b3...i think not even a b4 lor....argh.......nvm....wads over's over
haha...went jec with nalan elaine and shat...haha....den met e guys and chen wei and wei yi...haha...den et was like looking through my phone..haha....den he was like tsk tsk tsk....ahaha..siao lor...how i jio her??mad arh??i haven even got over e previous one lor...haiz...still haven forget her...siao lor et...hahahaa.....den chia hoe was like...horny ass.....haha...big dog go away liao u shang4 ah?haha....wadever.....for now we are juz frenz la.....haha....

Thursday, April 28, 2005

cool....chinese tomorrow and i haven started yet!!whooots!!!can almost kiss my a1 good bye..haha...well...got caught watching soccer last night...haha...heck...cuz its dad..so i don bother...don even feel like talking to him....lols...anyways...will be outta here in like 5 mins so that i can finish studying my chinese...super darn tired...haha...anyone got plans about where to go after our papers tomorrow?haha...msg me!!!haha...
saw her and her group today...din noe why but i keep looking out for her..i donno why..much as i tell myself not to, i still do...nevermind!!im sure i'll kick e habit one of these days!!!haha....

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

nothing much happened today...apart from e array of super-ultra-chim-short stories..haha...chun wee and i were like trying to be pro and explain e stories to jiahui and tianxu.haha...we decided..we will make our own short stories..haha....jiayoux!!!haha...den we had physics remedial...think i practically wasted my time there by talking nonsense with chiahoe and shaowen...haha....was having picnic as usual..so i won't be surprised if i happen to flunk physics....haha....mei's sick....take care dear...don fall sick le hor....that's about all..will be watching liverpool vs chelsea later....haha.....

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

cool...juz came back from k-box with nalan elaine and desmond..haha...we were like mad..haha...poor des had to endure all our chinese crap...hahaha....but..overall it was great...haha..and it really took my mind off certain stuffs...hahaa...elaine kept saying i shi1 lian4....haha....really meh?haha..donno la....anyways...today's compo was great...haha...both languages applied to me...haha...english especially...haha...topic 2...lol....e incident thingy..NEARLY wrote the full story lor....haha....but...after seeing "an incident"..i decided not to and changed the story a bit...haha...but e crux was still there...haha.....den chinese for once i did not write du2 bao4!!!!!!for once leh!!!hahaha..wadever....
throat very pain now..lol..

Sunday, April 24, 2005

currently listening to ai shi again...donno y...but juz felt like listening to it all over again...maybe its cuz i wanna relive e time?i donno...but i noe..its cuz of e peple in co that made my life ever so wonderful...i luv co and i luv e people in it...i miss all of ya...im at fen jing now... i see e entire xyz moving in my head...daji ever so lively...all of us moving...i can't help it..im sorry guys...but i really can't help but think of co...i...i donno wad else to say...except i luv co...and there will only be one co in my heart..and that's RVCO..i guess i wish that i can go back to when i was sec1...looking forward to every co practise...i would give up all my skills and start from stratch juz to be with all of u all again...=(
anyways...its gonna be monday again tomorrow...so its gonna be monday blues again...haiz....and no co to look forward to...that's not good...but laine and lan and yr and i maybe going k-box to sing..haha...i don mind!at least it takes my mind off co...juniors muz jiayoux k?esp bena and xinyi and mei...want to see either one of u become a prominent figure for RVCO...muz jiayoux....
for sec4s...let's all forget about syf and pia for our exams..we got no second chances le...so its down to e wire...

to xyz sec4s: i luv all of ya...though i'm e only guy left in xyz sec4s..but never was there a time where i felt out of place...and credit goes out to all of ya...bee bee, sylvia, kelly, shuzhen, kaili, weiling, shichun, phyllis, siqi, abi, serene, waiyee...i guess that's about all..hope i din miss out on any ya?i luv u all...u girls made me feel at home...=) thanks for enduring all e crap i gave to all of ya...i thank u all...and i don't regret joining this big family..=) GIRL PoWeR forever!!=D

to juniors of xyz: juz do us proud...=) all i have to say is juz do ur best and im sure u people will excel...hope to see all of ya doing well in e next syf and hope to hear u people play great and wonderful music...

to juniors of other sections: cass & xiwen & heng & amy of daji...do well ya?teach e juniors well hor...jingqing, jo, cass and meimei...do well too k?muz lian zi ben gong hor...only den u people can do well!!!erm...that's about all for other sections..haha...

to teachers who may potentially read this: Mr Tan CL, Miss Zhang ML, Ms Wan CI and even e already migrated Xu laoshi...i thank u all for all e guidence ya gave to us...thanks a million...thank u..thank u and even more thank u's.....thanks for putting up with all e crap we gave..esp us guys..haha....thanks...

to Mr Lum: thank u Mr Lum....i'll always remember e day u took us sec1s for sectionals...and i'll always remember e day i shok ur hand on e way down after syf...though u said nothing and juz patted my back...but..it was enough for me to remember...thank u...

to Mr Low: erm....though honestly i din like ur working attitude and ya din like mine either...but..deep down...i noe i look up to ya..for ya always noe wad was wrong with us....thank you...once a teacher, always a father...same goes to mr lum....respected like how i would respect a father...thank u....

to u....u noe who u are when ya read this: though we din have e best of endings...but....i think its only right for me to thank u..thank u for wad u have done for co...ur job aint one that's easy..and honestly i don wan it...but u were brave enough to take up e post..and i admire that...all e bez with him...=)

well guys..that's about all..thank u all...i luv u all..rvco.... sunday's are the worst days for me....morning got tuition for 2 hours....wah kaoz....den muz sit there and endure and think and stimulate that small little thing of mine.....LOL....den after that got 2 hrs break before organ lesson....push organ to sunday so that can play lan with Lan5..so later still muz go practice if not will die....haha.....juz finish reading all her past posts in ebloggy...din noe i actually once left a comment there....but wadever happens...its all in e past now...and i juz wanna leave everything behind me.....juz look to the future and hope for e best...waiting for e teacher to come now...sianz....argh....wish me luck not to fall asleep....LOL...

Saturday, April 23, 2005

sadded that today no co..haiz..feels a little weird la....donno why...like something missing like dat...fcuk la today....go play LAN also see her..FCUK!!!!!!!sianz...watching 3 guo now...lol..nice sia..later play nba...haha....like a no need to study for mid-years sia...haha....
life will never be e same without co..argh...like something missing in my school life leh...haiz...can't wait for e start of cca again...den go back and listen to juniors...haha...yays...=)

Friday, April 22, 2005

so long biatch!!!u're dead in my mind!!whoots!!finally after weeks of sufferings, im outta it!!yahoo...time for some chiong-ing tonight....haha...it was....orh.....i love sooooooo much.....yada yada yada....but now....after what i've seen.....its.....SO LONG BIATCH!


ps:pardon me for e crudeness of uncivilisation..

Thursday, April 21, 2005

its over...syf's all over...i don care....i don wanna care...cuz its over...let's juz keep it as e way it is...=)
anyways...i've really decided to wash my hands of it...after wad haiyuan told me on e train, i guess it really is right for me to.."na2 de2 qi3, fang4 de2 xia4"i think that's very true...especially when its all wrong...= if one wans to play such rules, im more than ready...=) so u hear me...get ready for some tough games..be prepared..don say i din warn u...we can nv be frenz anymore...not because i cant bear to, but because i'm not frenz with people who do another thing different from wad they say....let me tell u all a story....
There was once a brilliant girl...her studies was excellent...but one day during a test...e teacher found out that e girl purposely left one last question blank...when asked by e teacher to why she din do e question, e girl replied,"im scared i get it wrong..."e teacher said,"i noe u can do it..if u don do it, u won't be able to score an A1 for e paper!in fact u will fail it!" e girl thought....and thought...and pondered...and pondered..and finally she replied,"ok sir...i'll do e question...but not now...cuz i need to convince myself that i can do e question...but sir, is it okay if i do it only another day?" e teacher replied,"y not?i don mind waiting for u to do e question...." and finally e girl did e question....but sadly, she did some other teacher's question...
ironic?i donno....up to u peeps to decide...story copyright of jackson's life...=)

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

its finally here...syf starts tmr..let's juz do our best...our personal best..=) to hell with e results...so long as we do our best, we won't have anything to complain about...=)
i've thought it through....no point holding on to wad u cannot hold back..i guess it's only time for me to get e hell outta of way to let them have some time...=)
maybe lay was right all these while...it aint worth it...as wad lijia said....she'll juz be another passing figure in my life...i guess that's true...but...she'll always definately be a huge and prominent figure in my ever-so-wonderful life...i really thank her for this past month...at least i had a taste of wad it's like to be in one again...but for now....i'm juz glad i found my true frenz...those who stood by me...i really thank u all....xiaoneo, layc, yanrong, ignatius, haiyuan, cass see, meimei, lijia and of cuz...pok...i thank u all...so i hereby say...i wash my hands of this tried-and-failed attempt of a relationship with her...i have no regrets as i learnt lots of things....my only regrets would be..im sorry i'm not able to honour my words to stay on and hold on...im sry.....im sorry i tried to do e unthinkable...im sry...and lastly, im sorry we can't even be frenz anymore....
quote from lijia's blog..."stop waiting la...u think his phone no batt for 5 days meh?"so for me..ya...maybe i should stop waiting for her msg too...cuz i noe it will nv happen..it will nv come..even if she wans to msg, i guess it wld be to other people...so for now...let's juz say i'll concentrate on studies and sports....

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

din do anything stupid today...so i juz that's it...its over...wish them all e bez..=) guess its God's will for me to understand things...thank You God...i guess all i can do is wait and watch...=)

Monday, April 18, 2005

its finally here...tmr will be e day....God bless that i wont do something stupid tmr...

Sunday, April 17, 2005

okay...let's talk about CO first...erm....co wasnt e best yesterday....sound quality was like...uurgh...LOL....a bit of lag time....haha...saw some stuff which aint that pleasing when helping out with instruments...but that's not wad i can control though...so...don wish to elaborate..erm...soccer was whoots...by my 4th touch..i had a shot...lol...usually it would like take me at least 9999999999999999999 touches in a match before i can have a decent shot....lol..scored 1...lol...darrell was on hot form....though he scrapped his elbow..take care bud!LAN5 needs ya as a keeper!lol...den teachers "treated" us to ice-cream...lol...den....we as guys..had another corny idea...lol...we decided to drink it...lol..so we did wad we would usually do during wedding dinners...LOL.....yum seng-ing like mad...as if there's no tomorrow.....LOL....den i sat on one of e benches as e guys checked out e SC nominees' list...as i sat there...i stared...well..not really stare..but juz locked my vision on.....hmm....den after 2 seconds of inter-vision...i looked away and went off...couldn't continue....for once i lost a "vision-locking" contest...hmm....lots of stuff went through my head....but..i will press on..."loving someone means letting e person go with another person even if u can't be with her"
i really donno wad would happen once e sec4s step down...i really donno...i'll miss co...i'll miss e juniors..i'll miss Mr Lum...and LCY...though i donno y i would.....lol...and of cuz...e entire orchestra..but i noe e juniors would do well...=)
i'll miss all tuesdays and fridays...i'll miss those times...even e waiting....i noe i won't have another chance to...though i really hope i will have....will double standards be practised?i don not noe...all i noe is that i cant control wad others decide to do...i can only control wad i want to do and wad i decide to do.....
den CO ended...played soccer as we waited for ler and darrell to end their meeting....played more soccer...LOL....scored again!whoots!!darn funny game...lol....den went to je for lan and lunch..bud did e usual thing before going...was a bit silent....donno y...but i was juz happy by e fact that i could do it...
lan was....LOL...stupid....haha....really funny...assualt was ok....but ice world was a joke...haha....para.....MP5....even hand gun and knife....haha....darn funny....lan5 came to my place...haha....plus haiyuan and heng....played gb......LOL....lerxian wasnt very mad...juz...normally mad.....haha..really enjoyed myself....im juz happy to see her online.....but then..it would degenerate to sadness again....cuz i donno if i shld IM!LOL...saddening...haiz....
now im lagging now.....waiting for mum and dad to be back from market....
*double standards are practised cuz one feels that it is needed and e affected does not affect oneself...*

Friday, April 15, 2005

i cant really describe my feelings right now...first i was feeling all happy cuz co's finally improving...den i got so happy again cuz went home with juniors and nana...den it all crashed and burnt to something not for e faint hearted....it had to happen..i donno y...its had to be him...i donno y...it had to happen now...i donno y...not something that could be predicted...but something which was bound to happen..i din really take to heart wad vonn said last time..but it turned out to be exactly wad was prophesised..it had to be...all i can say is...i cant control and decide who can go after you...nor can i choose who to be frenz with ya...even more not possible that i can control who you will finally choose...i cant possibly decide who ya decide to be with...but one thing's possible..i can choose wad i decide to do...that is to wait...i think layc says it bez...爱一个不一定要和她在一起....i'll juz wait...juz as how i've done so for e past month...wait...and wait...for an outcome i donno and cant control...but...all i noe is..i'll wait....就算我不能和你在一起，我也不会难过...至少我知道你是幸福的......(unicode)

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

seems to me like every cultural group is getting Gold with honours....oh no...this aint good...actually its good...Well done guys...but for co...haiz...donno la...juz get this feeling we aint there yet...hmm...but nvm...i noe if we push ourselves we'll be able to do it! =) so let's all jiayoux together! hahaha....=D

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane

I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' CrAzY

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' cRaZy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you as i was waiting...i had a thought...."is this a premonition that we won't ever be together?"i donno...i din noe why i was there...waiting...waiting for something that may not ever happen...and i was right...we did not meet...i donno...leave this all to fate...if we are fated to meet....we will...if not...no matter wad i do...i can't change things...=) all e bez guys for physics and to 4K for E.Math tmr...=)

Sunday, April 10, 2005

hmm...now at kor's hostel...typing this post on his laptop that currently posseses an ultra hard to type key-board...lol...and dad's like killing a flying ant by stepping on it..LOL...as quoted from kor,"wad an interesting way to kill it."ahahahaha....nvm...juz rather sianz now...noticed something...i'll feel extremely sad or depressed on sunday mornings for wadeva reason i don't noe...haiz...muz be because i got nothing to do so i start to think negative..lol..wadeva...anyways...juz got something to say...*ahem* As e only guy in xyz-Sec4-05...i hereby say that i shall do wadeva it takes to prevent us from breaking apart...=) ok...11 more days to SYF...let's wrap things up with a Gold with Honours shall we? =) let's juz say...that's e least we can do for this wonderful organization, which has gifted and brought all of us together..=) its through fate that we all met..so let's make use of this fate to bring another Gold to CO ya?=)

"it doesnt matter if i can't always be with ya..important thing is that im able to spend 10 mins alone with ya in a week..for that im grateful already..." there are many "if only"s in life...for me...ya...if only it did not happen...haiz...sick and tired i am not...sad but why things turned out like dat..ya....today's suppose to be e day where it finally comes down to a single digit..haiz...saddening towards e turn of events...haiz...we'll see how things go and turn out...
anyways...starting to feel that we may by some fluke luck that we can get gold with honours...as i said...FLUKE LUCK...lol...not that i look down or wad...its juz that...gut feeling ya? pardon me for my frankness....we'll see...its all planned by God..we just have to follow and find ourselves in it..=)

Saturday, April 09, 2005

today not bad..rehearsal was a success...lol...eh mei!! ur pink hairband looks nice!=) den went for lunch...den went for organ....den now playing com...lol......my mei rox!! hahaha....

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

today's a weird day...lol...first...meimei's crash course..lol.she ah....lol..good stuff...memo until siao..lol...so crash course skills nia..lol...she got potential sia...if not for her teacher...LOL...den i was nearly late for morning assembly..lol..first time sia...lol...den morning run...felt cold at e 2nd round..haha...den chinese...kept reading e papers...LOL....den Math...biggest surprise...A1 for math...LOL...but not counted..hahaha...den next was irp.....someone ate in class...tsk tsk tsk....not my fault...next..den it was break...so went to makan...nearly got owned sia!!!!!wth??den saw her...but that's besides e point....sex lesson....LOL....aaron and i kept luffing throughout e video clip....haha....den it was assembly...sianz...den came home..lol.....later need to do physics..lol...

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

was wad i did right?tell me girl....was it right?

Monday, April 04, 2005

today's suppose to e 15th day.....haiz....donno if i should let it go....i feel like it...but im juz afraid im letting her go for good....haiz...donno la...we'll c how things go...e song really pin-points my feelings...
"Baby want you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up
Now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
But there is something left in my head

I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feelings so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know

You were never satisfied no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head

I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feelings so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There is so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore

I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feelings so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know...."

my feelings are all said in this song...haiz...

Sunday, April 03, 2005

i donno wads going on.....im juz totally gutted....totally down....nv felt so broken before...nv felt so down...haiz....don even feel like going to school tmr....don even feel like going for co...haiz.....tell me wad i should do.....to girls out there, never...never ever let a guy think there's a chance....cuz ur gonna kill him when u tell him its not possible....that's wad happened....and to all guys out there, don ever give ur fullest....cuz u will cry when ur faced with rejection.....=) at least that's wad im going thru now......

Friday, April 01, 2005

"im sad" thats all it takes for me to be juz as sad as u are...im sad...