Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I was feeling super down during CO today. Didn't really want to go. But apparently I had no choice. Hence, I decided to go. Guess it was a wrong choice. 'cos I wasn't in the mood anyway. I wasn't paying attention to things that were happening. Guess it pissed the instructor off 'cos he was like kinda angry and stuff like that. I don't know. 'cos I didn't even feel like going. Sighs.

Just when I needed someone to confide in, I realised that I haven't got anyone to talk to. Apparently only God's around. Where are you? When I most needed you? Nevermind.

-js-

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Really love the song that you guys are listening to right now. How nice and sweet. Sara was saying how I like those sappy and sad love songs. LOL. But it's true! They are nice! Hmms.
Personal preference I guess. Well, I kinda like songs like that. The lyrics are very meaningful and tells a rather sad story. Especially the part where they sing, "If you're asking do I love you this much, I do" Very emotional. Hmms. Nice nice!! =)

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All I am, all I'll be
Everything in this world
All that I'll ever need
Is in your eyes
Shining at me
When you smile
I can feel
All my passion unfolding
Your hand brushes mine
And a thousand sensations
Seduce me 'cause I

I do cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will love you still
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much
I do

In my world before you
I lived outside my emotions
Didn't know where I was going
'Til that day I found you
How you opened my life
To a new paradise
In a world torn by change
Still with all my heart
'Til my dying day

I do cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will love you still
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much
I do

-js-

Friday, March 24, 2006

It's not everyday that we get second chances. For me, I'm glad that I had a second chance. I got to stay in ACJC. That's nice, given that I wasn't suppose to be there. So yea, I got my second chance. But then again, we don't always get to have second chances.

Second chances are gifts. They are gifts, not something that we are entitled to. I blew my second chance. So there ain't any reason to why I'm suppose to ask for a thrid chance. Seriously, chances are given to people for a reason. To look upon their mistakes and learn to correct them and do better. But then, I didn't reflect. Instead, I just went on with whatever I thought was right. In the end, I lost it. Again. I thought I would be right in making that decision. I didn't think it through. In fact, it was based on the fact that I could not take it AT THAT TIME. Yes. That very moment. Had I stopped to consider and lay that precious ego down, things would be so very different from now. How I'd wish that I didn't say those fateful words. How I'd wish I didn't break her heart. But who am I to say, "I wish?" when at the end of the day, I really did so.

What on earth was I doing by telling people what to do and how to do things, when I don't even know how to do it. What on earth was I doing by telling people to move on when I myself cannot even do so? What on earth was I doing by telling people that there are better people out there when I myself cannot even bring myself to not do so?

Nobody knows how's it like to tell people what to do when you are secretly hoping that you are the person. I felt like shooting myself in the head as I was typing each and every word. But who cares? Knowing that the person you like is attracted by another person can really kill you. But then again, who cares?!

Only God knows my problems now. Only He cares.

-js-

Thursday, March 23, 2006

1AA5 ain't so bad now. The class is starting to gel together. Why? 'cos we all have a common target!! Haha. It's the same as 1AD2. LOL!! Interesting eh?

So sad that when you want something to happen but it doesn't happen. Hmms. Had a long chat with Elaine online last night. I guess I really have to follow what Elaine told me. Aaahhh.. If not ah, my life would be gone. Right? I guess so. But I don't dare. Aaahhh. I donno la. Super confusing. Oh my gosh. ='(

Should I or shouldn't I? Maybe I should just leave things as it is. And move on from there. God be with me as I venture into the unknown.

-js-

Monday, March 20, 2006

I'm sorry. But I don't really like the new class. I'm really sorry if I hurt people out there. But hey, I do like some people in the class though! Haha. I cursed and sweared more times today as compared to the entire year. Hmms. Bad bad naughty naughty lil boy. LOL.

Felt really happy yesterday. One of the best days ever! =)

-js-

Sunday, March 12, 2006

"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." - Deuteronomy 7:9

Term 1 is over. Hmms. Interesting how fast time flies. Sighs. I'll miss 1AD2 for sure. Really thankful that I had the chace to know these people. Yups. Thanks guys, for making my life in ACJC a better one. =)

God answers our prayers. Just that at times it does not occur to us that what we ask for is the best thing that can happen to us. Hence, when things don't turn out right or don't turn out the way we had hoped and prayed for, we start to blame God for not being there and that He is all fake and made up. A few weeks ago, a certain person was invited to speak to us during chapel. He was rather inspiring and stuff. But there's one thing that I cannot agree with him about. That is he said that God did not answer his prayers. God did not speak to him and hence did not answer his prayers. So I wondered, what would God have done instead if God DID answer his prayers? If what he said was true, then where was God when he prayed? *wonders* God did answer his prayers. In fact God answers every prayer! It's just whether or not we are able to accept God's plans and the way He paved for us. Instead of blaming and scolding God for not being there, why not ask, where were YOU when God wanted to be close to you? How interesting eh? We are all selfish. Let's not deceive ourselves by claiming we are all nice angels and goody-to-shoes(or whatever it is) alright?

-js-

Thursday, March 09, 2006

"who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,"- 2 Timothy 1:9

That's so true. We didn't ask for it. The Lord gave it to us, because He loved us. That, my friends, is true love. Love that does not yearn for anything in return. Amen. Thank You, Lord. And all thanks to God, I was able to find my lost uniforms. See what prayers can do? Who ever said that God is fake and made up? Who ever said that prayers don't come true? He who trust in the Lord will see the works of The Lord. Soften your heart and accept Jesus into your heart. Remove the hatred you have for the person who scolded you using vulgarities or who took your favourite pen and lost it. Why fill your innocent and pure heart with black and painful feelings? Embrace your friends, love them like how you love others.

-js-

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

I lost 2 out of 3 freaking new ACJC uniforms!! Oh my goodness. How on earth did I manage this incredible feat?! And I bought them only TODAY!! Argh. Hate myself for that. Kill me. Crap.

-js-

Sunday, March 05, 2006

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."- Joshua 1:9

Indeed, it isn't easy to trust something or someone you are not sure exist or not. But the existence of God cannot be questioned and He cannot be diminished. Though we cannot see God, we can feel His works and see the miracles that He created in our lives. My current feelings are not that of a lark but instead like that of a cow who's about to be slaughtered ( how did I ever think of this?? =/ ) . That's right. I have no idea what lies in front of me, what's installed for me. Much as I pray and hope that I get into ACJC and that I don't have to even step into JJC, I know it is not going to happen, at least for now. 'cos there's no way ACJC's going to call on a SUNDAY afternoon. Sighs. Seems like I'll have to go to JJC for the first day of school. Hmms. No disrespect and not that JJC ain't a good place to be in, but I'd rather stay where I've been.

-js-

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Watched my first ever rugby match with Marcus, Joshua, Julianne, HuiXian and Kenneth today. ACS Barker was playing RI. Haha. One can imagine the hostile atmosphere today. It was an eye-opener. The boys were playing their hearts out and we cheered everytime they got the ball back. And when they finally won the match, we cheered and clapped for them though we hardly knew any of them. The ACS family showed what it means by being a family. =)
It was really great to sit at the bleaches and watch the boys play. Though I've only been an ACSian for 2 months, I already see myself as an ACSian. Such is the love I have for the school. Sitting there, not knowing my fate really kills me. Facing the Sports Complex and seeing so many familiar faces stinks. Sighs. Let's just hope that God will lead me to what I want. But then again, who am I to order God around? God will lead me to what He knows is best for me, even if it's not ACJC. But then, deep deep deep down inside, I really hope it's ACJC. I would be lying if I said that I don't mind going to JJC. No disrespect to JJC, it's a pretty good school, just that I don't want to leave this wonderful campus of ACJC. Sighs. God...Help me...

-js-

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I'm currently typing this blog entry in ACJC's uniform. Haha. I'm sorry but I can't stop feeling elated with myself wearing this uniform. LOL. It's a wonderful place to be in really. =) Had Founders Day Celebration today. The atmosphere was whoots! Haha. Especially when we sang the school anthem. Man! That was really swell! Haha. Imagine your hair standing upon hearing the anthem. My gosh. Whoots!

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"ACS Forver"


-js-