Sunday, February 26, 2006

It's been a long time since I last updated. LOL. So yea. By God's grace I was able to get well from the freaking flu. Just finished watching Liverpool vs Manchester City. Interesting match that kept me at the edge of my seat.

It's interesting how people can convince themselves that they like or love a certain someone when at the end of the day they ask themselves why on earth did he or she like that certain someone? Hmms. Food for thought for me. Yups. Is it 'cause they like the person or is it just because they want to be with someone whom they do not mind? I don't know. What I know is that love cannot be because of the fact that you do not mind being with the person. It has to be because you want to be with the person. Like how God loves me. It's not because He doesn't mind being with me but because He wants to be with me. God wants to shelter me from everything and lead me through it all. So next time when you say, " I love you.", ask yourself. Are you being true to the person? Are you sure you do not mind being with that person even when both of you are old and haggard? =) Oh and by the way, don't say you like the person 'cause she's attractive or she looks good. It's shallow. And to top it all off, do you even know the person? LOL. =D

-js-

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I'm sick. The following shall be sad and have a tinge of self pity. Please bear. Thanks.

Where were you when I'm sick? Nowhere
Where were you when I needed someone to talk to? Nowhere
Where were you when I needed someone to pour all my sorrows to? Nowhere
Where were you when I needed someone to be around? Nowhere
If tomorrow never comes, will you know how much I love you? Don't think so.
For tomorrow never comes.
All thanks to my foolishness and stupidity for letting you go...

I sound so weak. That's 'cause I'm sick. Don't even know what I am saying. I shall be fine tomorrow.

-js-

Sunday, February 19, 2006

New week ahead of me. Oh my goodness. Time flies really quickly. How saddening. Hmms. At least I get to be with my classmates from 1AD2!! Haha. They rock my socks off. LOL. Wonder when will be next time I get to have dinner with them. Haha. It was really funny and super awesome. ~Weee~

I'm trying to shift my focus to other stuffs now. Her words really hit me hard. Real hard. I don't know why. But I just can't seem to move on though it's been 2 years. I'm sure God will bring me out of it and He'll help me. I shall focus on school and God. If I'm meant to be with her, I will. I'm sure. 'cos God told me so.

-js-

Friday, February 17, 2006

It's tomorrow! It's going to be fun! I'm sure 1AD2 will do their best in trying to meet the targets set by the school. =) 1AD2, All The Way!!

My time in ACJC is coming to an end. Sooner or later, I'll have to leave this wonderful campus and move on to a new place and future. God shall lead me. We shall move together, hand in Hand. =)

-js-

Monday, February 13, 2006

Let's be frank and honest here. The following entry is all about my real feelings and the things I felt over the past 2 days.

The moment I received my O Level results, I felt immediately that God abandoned me. I felt that He left me. I started to question His existence and presence. I felt that God didn't exist at all. Why did I even choose to believe in something that cannot even be proven exist? Who on earth said that God exist? I felt that there wasn't such thing as God. I refused to acknowledge His presence 'cause I felt that He wasn't at all real. I was filled with anger. I was thinking about how I wasted my time talking to God, telling Him my problems when He didn't exist in the first place.

But then, Tianyong tagged at my blog. Cling onto God, he said. Reflecting on chapel today, I realised that God exists. Chapel taught me one thing today, God's love can never be seperated and nothing can cut that love away from us and God. As I listened to the worhip group singing, I felt a deep sense of emotion. Each word struck hard and deep into my heart. God loves us not because of what I did but because of what He did. God loves us not because of what I am but because of who He is. Who am I? I'm Yours, God. Yes. I belong to God. I'm His saint, as quoted from chapel today. Much as we all are undeserving to be called a saint but in God's eyes, we are perfect. We are perfect because all the sins were lifted off our shoulders. The sins were enough to condemn us to having hundreds of tons of stones hanging around our necks, enough to condemn us to be boiled in oil like John was punished and tortured. But we didn't. Why? 'cause Jesus died for us. For God so loved us that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. Yes, that's the power of God. God never left us. He never did and most importantly, He never will. Amen, my friends. God's love is so powerful that we can never ever feel the full effects of it.

Love is oversimplified by all the roses and chocolates that will be handed around tomorrow. However, flowers die and chocolates are eaten. God's love, will never cease to exist. That's the true meaning of love. Selfless, unconditional. I talked to my sis-in-Christ, Pearleen, and she asked, "Do you think that grades are really that important?" No it isn't. God loves us not because of what happens. Instead, God loves us NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENES! Yes.

God bless me that I have such a wonderful brother. He told me lots of stuff that really made me think of what I really want. Thank You God, for blessing me with such a wonderful kor. And of course, all the wonderful friends that I have. Thank You.

-js-

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Devastating. Utterly disappointing. I guess it all boils down to not working hard enough for what I really wanted. Played too much, too hard. I can only hope that I get to stay on, 'cause I really don't want to leave. Sighs. But I guess it ain't up to me now. I can only do what I have to do and can do and the rest as they say, is not within my control. The ball is in my court for now and it is up to me to utilise it. I have until Wednesday. Let's just hope I can stay on, 'cause 1AD2 really is enjoyable and so is ACJC.

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I don't even know what I'm doing or what I want. Why on earth am I still holding on? Slap myself and get out of it man! You have more important things to do. Snap out of it young man. Don't do things that you'll regret doing.

-js-

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

God's love is so great. For those of you who don't believe in prayers, you're so very wrong. Prayers are so powerful. Really. God answers all our prayers. It's just a matter of when we see the effects of it. No matter how trivial or how important it is, God will answer it all. Why? 'cause God loves us. Simple. I prayed last night as I was on my way to buy some bread. Prayed for good weather today for the cross country. Guess what? It was the best weather for running. God answered my prayer. It was sunny and had wind blowing to reduce the heat. See how loving God is? He made sure that we would not get heatstroke! =) Cheers to God's love and His grace. =)

God doth not need either man's work or his own gifts; who bears best his mild yoke, they serve best. Felt that this was really interesting. Copied this little phrase during Lit lesson. Yes. God does not need our work or our gifts. He does not need anything from us. All He ask for is that we speak to Him and open our hearts to Him. =) What's the power of love? God. John 3:16 says it all. It's a really important relationship. Christianity isn't a religion. It's a relationship. Yes. It is. Don't call yourself a Christian just because you're born a Christian. Call yourself a Christian because you want to glorify God. I'll be honest and say that I've not glorified God. I don't attend church, as I rarely go. But I do what I can do, by doing what is right. I speak because I want to glorify God. I don't speak because of malicious intent. Vulgarities are a big no-no. Why? 'cause they don't glorify God! For all those so called Christians out there who use vulgarities like nobody's business, it's seriously time to reconsider yourself as a Christian and ask yourself, have you ever done anything that would make you a good testiment for God? I'm as lousy a Christian as anyone of them. I stray away most of the time. But I'm sure, with God's help, I'll be able to go back to God.

God's grace and power will see me through anything and everything. 'cause He loves us.

-js-

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Results will be out on Friday. How interesting. Hmms. We'll just have to endure a few more days of torturing wait. Bleargh.

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I realised how silly I was to actually fall for something. Hmms. Had a chat with Sara the other day and I found out some very interesting news. Haha. So yea, lucks to all guys out there who may be the potential person. Don't say I didn't warn you, she ain't what she seem to be. Be wary. =P

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I'm tired. As in, I'm feeling sleepy. Sighs. And there's mass pt tomorrow! LOL. How nice. What a way to kick start my week. Yay. -.-"

-js-

Thursday, February 02, 2006

I really love my class. They really are a great bunch of people. I really want to thank God for putting me in this very swell class. We were like gossiping during our break and during Chinese lesson. LOL. Super funny. I wonder if I'll ever get to see them after my posting and more importantly, after I get my results. Sighs. I really want to stay in ACJC now. I was having second thoughts about ACJC intially. But after being with these wonderful people, I've decided to stay in ACJC even if I get grades good enough for NJC, though I think it's highly impossible. Let's just see what happens alright? =

I love 1AD2. =)

-js-

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Not a day passes without me loving ACJC.
Not a day passes without me loving my friends.
Not a day passes without me loving my room.
Not a day passes without me yearning to see her.
Not a day passes without me regretting my actions.
Not a day passes without me fearing for my future.
Not a day passes without me fearing for my O levels results.
But most importantly,
Not a day passes without me loving God.

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Chinese New Year holidays ended just like that. I'm pretty sad that it ended so quickly. But it's alright I guess. 'cause I got to spend some really swell quality time with my wonderful friends and most importantly, my family. Resumed school today. Sighs. Sad. Rather tiring for me. I was trying my very best not to fall asleep during lecture. I need to rest real bad. I'm tired.

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"Up to you. Nothing I can do. As you said it, not my problem. Really? We'll see."

-js-